Short Nails And The Price of Beauty
I quit playing guitar at age 16 because I wanted long, beautiful nails ...
One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn’t continue to play guitar as a teen because I didn’t want to have short, stubby fingernails. Instead, I wanted long, oxblood red claws.
The other day I realized I could have red or any color nails I liked and still play guitar because —
“Sandy” from Grease had short nails and bright red nail polish —
The things you realize when dressing up for a theme party.
The things you realize when you’re casually looking at social media. Today would have been Elizabeth Taylor’s 91st birthday and this lovely picture of her in a turban is going around. It turns out it came from a difficult time in Taylor’s history, when she was being courted by Senator John Warner. Taylor wanted to support her husband’s political campaign, so she tried to tone down her image. I remember her being mocked at this time for being overweight and also for choking on a chicken bone in a restaurant.
People were much more verbally brutal then, although many people today are either too young to remember how vicious public commentary about women was, or have hazy rose-colored memories of a time when it probably took Medal of Honor-level courage for Mama Cass Elliott to go on stage or Liz Taylor to go out in public with a few extra pounds. I just found a quote from much-lauded Joan Rivers — back when “I LOVE Cosmetic Surgery” Joan was the only female substitute host on The Tonight Show, here’s a sample of her ongoing “jokes” —
Every time Liz Taylor goes into McDonald’s, the numbers on the sign outside start changing. When she looks up and see five billion, she thinks it’s her weight.
That was regular daily fare at the time. I know — I was a kid growing up, deciding to quit playing guitar because I wanted to have long, elegant fingers with long, pointed, bright-red nails.
The world we grew up in is so different.
In the past few days I’ve read several overviews of “pinup” girls from the 50s and 60s. Each story is so sad: the beautiful young woman ended up not achieving her career goals and usually, ended up in bad relationships, coming to a sad and lonely, or even a violent end.
In my late 20s, I was part of a young women’s group in my Southern California hometown. We put on gala events to benefit our town’s summer music festival. For one, I decided to go as Elizabeth Taylor and bought a black wig styled like her famous large 80s hairdo. This was when she was selling her perfume and hanging out with Michael Jackson —
As long as I didn’t open my mouth, no one at the event recognized me. And I’ve told people since, “You know how they say blondes have more fun?”
At least for me, it’s true. I’ve never been treated so crudely at a decent event in my life as I was by my friends’ normally (to the blonde me) polite husbands.
I learned somewhat of a lesson that day.
And today I learned another. I could have had short nails and kept playing guitar my whole life.
But I bought the line —
And cheated myself.
My friend Vera calls me “blonde Elizabeth Taylor.” Of course I don’t believe it, but it makes me smile. Liz is very high up on my top list of celebrity favorites.
Today I learned Liz Taylor is also a Pisces. She had the guts to have short nails when I didn’t. She never bowed to the ceaseless criticism of her appearance.
I’m not sure I’d care to be with any of Liz’s spouses, including Richard Burton. But I’ll take her courage and caring for others any day.