None So Blind As Those Who Refuse To See
Media’s influence can outweigh personal beliefs, values, family upbringing, and common sense
The conversation we had with a neighbor the other day has weighed heavily on my heart.
She’s an older lady we’ve known for the four years we’ve lived here. We know she’s stubborn, because she was embroiled in a battle with our HOA over a minor matter for at least two years. Although the matter was settled, apparently the HOA is still billing her for “legal fees” and she’s been told there’s a lien on her home.
She’s a nice person for the most part, but I suspect that if we didn’t look and act the way we do … she wouldn’t be.
She expressed dismay at the June 27, 2024 U.S. Presidential debate between former President Trump and current President Biden. She was shocked at President Biden’s appearance and demeanor and concluded that he had dementia.
Because Bruce and I have a bit of common sense, we listened more than we spoke.
“I think they should replace him,” she said. “I like Newsom. I’ve seen him on TV and he sounds powerful.”
I then made the critical error of telling her — as someone forced to move out of my native state — that California’s governor Gavin Newsom was unlikely to be a positive leader. She knows we moved to SW Florida from Southern California because we couldn’t survive there any longer as middle-class (ostensibly) individuals. One of our chief motivators was our landlord increasing the rent by large amounts each year. The same apartments where we used to live are now renting for $3,000 to $5,000 a month.
Another chief motivator was looming COVID shutdowns which meant I’d be out of a teaching job with nothing to fall back on, and a state that had passed restrictive legislation making it almost impossible for me to earn a living as a writer.
We told her that countless businesses went out of business in California due to COVID shutdowns and that most schools were closed for at least a year to 18 months, which harmed hundreds of thousands of students and also their families, with parents unable to work.
“It didn’t turn out that bad here,” I said, regarding Florida. “The schools were only closed a short time and fortunately few kids got sick and died, so …”
She immediately denied what I said.
“Did you know any kids in school here or teachers? I met some soon after we moved, they were okay with schools being open.”
She firmly believed the schools here had been closed, and disbelieved how long and strict the COVID shutdowns were back in California. She laughed at me in a hectoring fashion when I told her my daughter had stayed in California during the crisis and had worked through the whole thing despite how hard it was, having been declared, like fast food, grocery, and delivery drivers, an “essential worker.”
“You really believe that?” (in response to a comment about direct experience with my own child).
She then said she was raised a Democrat and was from a New Jersey community where everyone was Democrat.
“Why are all these students protesting for Hummus (Hamas)? Don’t they know they’re terrorists?”
I said, “Well, you remember the Vietnam era, I think they could be protesting for the same reasons young people protested back then.”
She was so vehement against pro-Palestinian students that I asked if she was Jewish.
“No!” she said scornfully. She probably didn’t even hear me when I said my father was Jewish and I’d learned a lot about Middle East conflicts since October 7.
“These students want to be aligned with terrorists,” she continued. “Have you seen what Putin is doing to Ukraine? They should go and kill all the Russians for what they’ve done!”
I gathered she wasn’t a peace advocate.
Bruce commented later that no one was going to have a conversation with this lady about much of anything. Looking back, I’m amazed she even thought that President Biden might be impaired, because she seemed to firmly believe everything she heard on whichever television news she’s watching at the time. I didn’t ask but my guess would be MSNBC or CNN. I don’t know how people deal with “changes” in propaganda messaging when they are like this, but I’m guessing that if I ask her about the debate now, she’ll say that President Biden just had a bad night.
I remembered prior conversations with her where she’d denigrated young people for other perceived transgressions: laziness, ignorance, refusal to work hard, wanted everything handed to them.
She didn’t listen when I told her that my students over a 20-year college teaching career weren’t anything like that.
And they weren’t and still aren’t.
Maybe They Won’t Be There Forever
We’re not big fans of some of the members of the HOA where we live, but we also have common sense to know that it’s a poor idea to engage in open conflict with them over unimportant matters. There are some less-than-optimal situations in our community and when I talk to other normal neighbors about them, I suggest, “Some of the problem people are up in their 80s, so maybe they won’t be there forever.”
Is The River Denial Something Only Old People Sail On?
I never went fully with the status quo on a personal level in terms of clothing, fashion, or taste in movies or music, but as far as big national events or the nature of the U.S., I didn’t heavily question the narrative we were taught in school until my second stint as a nonprofit executive (2006–2011).
Even then, my questioning was along the lines of “How incompetent could government agencies be?”
I’d noticed that homeless organizations were willing, at the time, to spend an average of $60,000 per person per year to “house” them in transitional housing, but there wasn’t any “transition” at the end. The person would just be discharged with no place to go. I learned that at the time, jail and prison had the same costs as residential homeless programs.
I once outraged a room full of government officials by saying, “If you’re willing to spend $60,000 a year to put someone in transitional housing, why not just cut them a check and let them find their own housing?”
Then I began to notice that my diverse peers, who all cared about the community and had a lot to offer as elected representatives, were invariably directed away from running for political office in early stages of their campaigns. I saw the same elderly, primarily white candidates being put up for office over and over. When term limits were instituted, these same low-performing, disrespectful, callous characters who were inaccessible to the public just rotated positions: County Supervisor, City Council, State Rep, U.S. Rep.
While I could sometimes get some of these long-time public officials interested in supporting a few projects here and there — especially if they got opportunities to cut ribbons and get media attention — none were interested in any legislation or other actions that would change the status quo for homeless and poor families.
Man, this is rotten, I thought. I ascribed it to big city corruption.
My gradual change of ideas and thought came as a result of focusing on my core values and the way I was raised by my grandfather, an honest, caring, and ethical man.
My question now is this, because it’s been my belief for some time that despite media insistence that 100% of people in the U.S. are polarized between two opposing political parties, one of which is colored RED (a fascist dictatorship party that wants to murder all nonwhite, nonmale individuals) and the other of which is colored BLUE (a kind-hearted, caring party that supports all citizens) —
That most people are done with this mess. Most people don’t know what to do, because they are just going about their daily lives and trying to get by.
Our neighbor is so out of touch with reality and focused on what she sees and hears from television propagandists that she can’t even acknowledge personal experience or statements of those she knows in real life. She doesn’t even know that her diehard insistence on what she’s been told by people broadcasting from thousands of miles away means she’s alienated her own neighbors, who have been friendly and helpful to her.
A Metaphor for The U.S.
I heard a lot of aggressive statements from my neighbor, especially threatening death to Russians because of the devastation they have caused in Ukraine.
My grandfather taught me something about violent threats, and so did my Jewish father, who’d been born in Hells Kitchen and who grew up on LA’s streets.
The lesson I was taught was, “Don’t make a threat unless you are willing to back it up.”
Also: “Don’t start a fight unless you are prepared to finish it.”
There are so many overwhelming tasks and needs in the U.S., starting with my former industry: homelessness, housing, and economic development. Homelessness has increased by double digits since 2020 and a growing number of people 55 and over are homeless, along with 35,000 U.S. Veterans. Housing is unaffordable for middle-income families in 99% of major U.S. housing markets, and what many in the U.S. don’t know is: it’s the same in all the other English-speaking countries — and even worse.
Climate change impacts: the biggest early summer hurricane in history is raging through the Caribbean right now. Seasons are changing everywhere. Many people are saying that spring and summer pollinators, bees and butterflies, are absent from their gardens.
Military conflicts: Regional and possibly world war are looming in eastern Europe as well as the Middle East.
“Why are the students protesting for Hummus?”
Maybe they don’t want to fight and die in a foreign country for a cause they not only don’t support, they don’t even understand.
Return of COVID: COVID infection rates are increasing, but little news is available and mask bans, mask-shaming, and vaccine shaming are everywhere.
Inflation: Officially-reported inflation rates exclude food prices, which have risen by at least 75% over the past two years. Calculators only show month-to-month increases but if you add up a 2% inflation rate over 36 months, you get the reality of $.69 cent a pound peaches in 2021 and $2.89 peaches in 2024.
Opportunities for Young People: Back in 2015, I was concerned that not only my daughter and her friends, working as servers in local restaurants, but also my students, planning biochemistry, engineering, and computer science majors, were transferring to UC Irvine with straight-As and getting out only to be interviewing for $20/hour part-time jobs. They could not live on their own in South Orange County on those wages, much less get married and start families. Now, anywhere between one-third and half of young adults in the U.S. are living at home with their parents.
Health “Care” And Horrible Health: COVID should have taught everyone how horrible the U.S. healthcare system is. The world’s most expensive and least effective. Somehow every advocate for Aetna/CVS quarterly profits to shareholders overlooks the fact that 75% of people in the U.S. are obese or overweight and that at least 30% have chronic, degenerative diseases that require prescription medication, from diabetes to heart disease and high blood pressure.
Finding Our Own Way
I used to wonder about the people I knew growing up who talked about being “free thinkers.” My friend Cheryl’s father was one of these, and he wasn’t a good guy, but he used to rail about “The Man” and prided himself on independent thought.
Having worked in so many different roles and industries, my experience on the job as well as in the classroom is that the majority of people are well-meaning and not destructive. They will work decently and constructively in structures that support that, whether it’s a well-run workplace or a well-run classroom.
My experience has also been that the most destructive people are typically the most privileged. They are not only people who have a hard time listening to and acknowledging others, they don’t see any need to do so.
Perhaps this is because they’ve never been required to do so.
The U.S., and other English-speaking nations, privilege themselves so greatly over others that it’s almost difficult to believe that in today’s global society, where we can easily see and hear from others, and — here in the U.S. — with immigration a factor throughout the nation’s history — that we would not listen to others and acknowledge that we don’t “know everything” and —
Maybe it’s like my uncle, a world-renowned pediatric urologist who invented several novel treatments for fatal birth defects. He was an alcoholic who finally decided to quit drinking. Sober Uncle Norm was a completely different man from alcoholic Uncle Norm. A far better man.
Inside our neighbor is a good, decent person. But that person is buried under years of addiction to mistaken beliefs, elitist beliefs, tribalist beliefs.
I feel that the U.S. (and other Western nations) labor under such heavy denial. They tell themselves they’re the world’s best, but what is the definition of “best”? Having the most money?
We can’t even provide affordable homes to middle income people. We put schoolchildren in debt to pay for school lunches that every district receives more than sufficient funds to provide free of charge to any student. These same school lunches are responsible for a large portion of the nation’s food waste.
The U.S. is busy criminalizing homelessness so it can spend — now it’s not $60,000 a year to “house” a homeless person or a felon, in a shelter or a prison — it’s $120,000 a year.
Two elderly men that hardly anyone can stand are contending for leadership of the country.
Neighbors scoff at and denigrate other neighbors because of lies they hear on television.
And I’m not even a Black woman who says that my life matters.
I’ve been through very bad times in my life and I’ve been through transformative ones.
To realize you’ve hit rock bottom and need to ask for help is a very difficult thing.
But that is exactly where we are as a nation and a people and only the most deluded, in the greatest denial, fail to realize that.
Bill Moyers warned about corporate media ownership leading to propaganda and 'vertical integration' across corporate properties as far back as the 1980s. TV is a wasteland of noise and agitprop now. It's designed specifically to turn your neighbor into...your neighbor. She'll cheer people like us being sent to the camps, and be utterly surprised when she's sent, too.