Never Trust A Karen
Entitled people are never going to give anything back to anyone else — they are the majority we see/hear from online
A few years ago, I volunteered to help current students in my graduate writing program at Chapman University. The current leader of the program is a white female who has published, to my knowledge, one book.
I wasn’t good enough for her, so she blew me off.
A few years later in 2019 or so, the program’s social media page was recommending that students pay for and attend an expensive writing conference to “get an agent” with the ultimate goal of a publishing contract.
I commented that most of my friends were making a good living publishing independently, having realized how much more they could earn that way.
Because I said this, the white female in charge of this program allowed two white male students to verbally abuse me in extensive terms. Both appeared to be writing stereotyped fantasy or sci fi. Neither of the two appeared remotely qualified to professionally publish one word.
Since I graduated in 1999, nearly 100% of the “credits” this expensive private university MFA program advertises that graduates have achieved —
are mine.
I told her this.
This school is charging $1,135 per credit for this program. That is 3 times what I paid two decades ago.
And the truth is, writers will earn more publishing independently than they will via nearly any conventional writing contract or agenting arrangement.
Should I add that these two white male students writing sci fi who thought their best path to earning a living was “getting an agent” and “attending literary conferences” had “Black Lives Matter” in their social media banners? You cannot make this stuff up.
This woman has a job, presumably can afford any food she likes, has sabbaticals (6 months to one year off with pay), probably travels to Europe, and probably thinks she’s a great writer and teacher. She certainly thinks she is 1 million X better than me in all areas, judging by her behavior.
No, her name’s not “Karen” but it should be.
A few weeks ago, our friend group scheduled a day trip to Gasparilla Island, aka Boca Grande. All rich people live there but for the time being, they let us poors pay the bridge toll and visit the beaches.
We had 12 people signed up to take two 6-person golf carts around the island: we asked each attendee to pay $15, which exactly covered the four-hour rentals for two carts.
The night before the event, one person hadn’t paid her $15 fee and wasn’t responding to reminders.
My friend, who organized the event, texted this woman all the prior day with no response. Finally at 10:00 p.m. the prior night, the woman responded.
“I injured my toe,” she said. “I won’t be going.”
When my friend asked about the $15 share of the cart, this woman launched a stream of verbal abuse ending with, “I’ll pay you the fricken money.”
We have one rule in our online group. It’s “Be Kind.”
That morning, my friend shared the rude, mean messages with me. I told her, “I’ll handle this.”
I messaged the woman online and told her she had broken our group’s one rule and — I did offer her an opportunity to do better.
I’m sure you can guess her response. I told her I had removed her from the group, a procedure which took me a couple of minutes.
“I have already removed myself from the group,” she replied.
But that couldn’t have been true, as I’d spent a bit of time previously doing it and contacted her after the task was complete.
All she’d had to say was “I’m so sorry, I have a health issue,” apologize, and offer to make the money good.
But her “health issue” was as real as her claim she’d “already removed herself from the group.”
Later on, we realized, her spouse was the one who had eaten three lobsters at our seafood party, ensuring that the host who paid for the food, and my husband, who had cooked it, wouldn’t get any.
I just wrote to a client, “Don’t put a lot of money into any influencer marketing budget — it won’t be well spent.”
Every time an “influencer” or “celebrity” is revealed to be an abuser or jerk, we act as though it’s some sort of unique circumstance.
The very nature of “influencer” is somebody who is privileged above others.
Karen 1 isn’t a better teacher than others who don’t have tenured faculty positions. And on the basis of a single small press book, she isn’t better qualified than people who’ve supported their families for decades through professional writing.
Karen 2 did not “remove herself from the group.” It’s hard to imagine who will be friends with Karen 2 by the time she finishes abusing and lying to her neighbors.
But both do seem to value … well … I’m sure neither one of them accepts a car that’s worth less than $80,000. Both probably have lots of expensive jewelry and I very much doubt either misses any meals other than voluntarily. They probably have any phone they like, and probably go to any restaurant they choose.
I could see either of them calling the cops on any person who did anything they thought had inconvenienced them.
I can hear both demanding to speak to the manager.
Karens.
Please stop calling those of us who aren’t, whatever we look like, by that name.
Thank you.
Sad but true this is not uncommon. People develop Narcissism because they emulate what they see growing up, typically? Taught by Dad to son, we overheard, "Don't take no shit off of anyone are we clear? It is a dog eat dog world and you have to TAKE what you want. And defend your property, people and possessions with gusto! (meaning assault rifles in hall closet,handy, gun like a Glock under each of the beds.) lol Worst type ever- Borderline Personality disorder (BPD)- combines abandonment issues with sociopathic tendencies, full blown Narcissistic dynamic,yet sometimes appears to have empathy, so multi personalities, and no boundaries except rarely do they exhibit physical violence when female/just call the cops and lie about something....then drop the charges, very effective discipline by cops when female has BPD. Yet can appear so lovely to everyone else! These people think that your world revolves around THEM. Most toxic relationship ever, can destroy you.