Is Online Discourse For The Privileged Lower Than The Imploded Titan Sub?
As an older woman not inclined to verbally abuse over nothing, it seems like the rudeness factor increases with various forms of entitlement
Recently I’ve been stunned by some rude, inconsiderate behavior in real life and business as well as online.
First, a woman who had said she wanted to attend a local beach and sight-seeing trip with our friend group, hadn’t paid her part of the modest fee for a golf cart rental as of the night before the event.
The trip coordinator texted this woman three times at 9 p.m. the prior night. Finally, the woman responded by saying she had a minor injury and wouldn’t be attending.
Then she added, “I’ll pay you the fricken money if you insist.”
I read her successive rude, dismissive, mean messages and agreed with my friend that she was no longer welcome in our online-coordinated group.
We have only one rule and it’s “be kind.”
I said I’d message the woman letting her know we were removing her from the group because of her lack of courtesy, lack of respect, and verbal abuse.
She responded not with an apology, but with an accusation against my friend that made little sense and didn’t apply to the context. She added, “I removed myself!”
Well — no she didn’t. I had done it myself a few minutes earlier and I had followed a series of steps.
So in other words, this lady didn’t bother to say she wasn’t coming to an event where my friend had put out her own money to rent two golf carts (total: $240 for 4 hours, 2 carts) and taken on the liability in case of mishap, organized the event, and spent time on it (as I also did) — and well — said and did all the other things, too, icing the feces frosting on this manure cake with a parting lie (“I removed myself!”).
I’d like to add that when we had a seafood party a few weeks ago and one of the dishes was lobster tails, our hosts had purchased enough so that each guest could have one lobster tail. Bruce and I cooked. He didn’t get any lobster, neither did the host, and I had a quarter of one. One person ate three and I bet — this lady and her husband were in attendance — you can guess who did that.
Also on our trip yesterday, another of our new friends mentioned she had bought a book from a local author, but he didn’t seem to care about or even want to talk with her about it. She said he charged her $20, but the book was available online for $12. I told her I bet I could guess who that was, as Bruce and I had also bought and read one of his books, and the man had also acted similarly with us. I said I’d noticed that when the man came to local events to sell his books, he often sat away from his wife while she did all the work and interacted with others.
Yes, he’s a massively entitled jerk.
So for maybe two decades, we’ve been witnessing a decline in social media discourse. There’s a corresponding decline in real-world ability of some to get along normally with others. There’s also the “snowbird factor” here in Southwest Florida (and any other communities with seasonal or tourist residents).
I get that sometimes people who are tourists behave more poorly than they would at home.
But there’s something more going on, I think.
We used to watch shows and read children’s books that highlighted how spoiled and “rotten” rich and privileged kids were. These stories made this type of person a figure of fun and mockery. The behavior wasn’t praised or encouraged: very much the opposite.
In school when playing sports, we were encouraged to show good sportsmanship. When socializing or playing games, we were encouraged to share, provide opportunities to play, and be courteous to younger or less capable friends.
This morning I saw a Twitter comment that I’ve highlighted in this article’s header. This is who made the comment.
That’s right. “Official” account. “Resistance” music means that they have some affiliation with the Democratic Party. They seem proud that they had a “Blue Check” from Twitter. I didn’t want to click on their links — but I did. They are selling merchandise and “music” inspired by former President Trump.
So, here is a musical group with made-up names (all based on former U.S. Presidents) dropping the F-bomb on a famous broadcaster who is married to the former Federal Reserve Chair and sounding like they wish she passed away —
And what was Andrea Mitchell’s offense? She said she thought President Biden was too old to run for office again.
If she is saying that, then a lot of people in positions of influence and power also are saying that.
And this group — whether officially sponsored by President Biden or not — is using official imagery, the U.S. flag, and the name of the United States, and has the F-bomb in the header of their account. Apparently at least a few people have bought their lousy music and trashy merchandise.
So, this is the level of discourse that people who are associated or affiliated with elites think is good. The Democratic Party’s “base” — no matter how they want to publicly portray is “working people” or nonwhite people — are upper middle income white people. Not necessarily “educated,” but I have many acquaintances who have secure jobs and retirements who would probably think that the USA Singer music is “creative” and “funny” because it makes fun of Donald Trump.
Once again, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this class or type of bourgeois person drop the F-bomb on Trump (or the similar health-related statement about someone else — F-Cancer), I’d be rich enough to be one of them.
But I’m not.
What I think social media (and the broader support system for it — streaming services, film, TV, books) has done is just pants the hell out of the pig people who have always run our country.
It has shown their tastes (bad).
It shows their behavior and concern for others (worse).
It shows their level of education and expertise in various subjects (hardly any).
When I was forced to help the large charitable organization I worked for in downtown Los Angeles merge with another charity to preserve most people’s jobs and the programs that helped people (but not my job), I began to read various books about what people did during the Nazi times in Germany. I learned that there were over 40 plots on Hitler’s life. Men who I had been led to believe were outstanding and of good character, like Erwin Rommel and Claus von Stauffenberg, took Hitler on and tried to stop him. Both failed and lost their lives.
I read a book by a Harvard professor who does not answer emails that talked about followership and leadership.
From an early age, I often heard people comment that “the people who are the best leaders are those who don’t want the job.”
This isn’t a political comment, it’s personal: when I was young I rode the Reagan Train because that was what my friends and fiance were doing. I was just a kid going along with my peers.
But I look back and remember that President Reagan always showed a positive demeanor to others. He had good people skills, whatever others say about him.
I do not think that the current awful state of social media discourse or even, in the real world, the prevalence of a fair number of people who do little but create havoc in others’ lives due to their horrific fulminating cases of advanced entitlement worse than Willy Wonka’s Veruca Salt —
I don’t think this is a new phenomenon. Those of us in the “normal, regular world” just haven’t been exposed to it.
We really are undergoing a lot of damage to our environment, to our communities, and above all — to our immortal souls — because we are exposed to so much poor behavior.
Poor food. Poor behavior. Poor attitudes.
No concern for others, concern only for self.
It’s a miserable way to live. The rest of us need to figure out ways to get away from it and live better.
Entitled jerkness does seem to be increasing, but there's been a step change since covid. Millions of damaged brains, now with a predisposition for aggression and confrontation. Add in guns, and....libertarian paradise?
It's important to remember that the social media megasites that have sucked all the oxygen out of the internet are designed for anger, aggression, confrontation. That Facebook lady who testified to Congress put it on public record, though there's been ample evidence for some time. The sites push out what it thinks will make you angry, want to fire off a thoughtless comment, get in a dumb fight with strangers. They can show you more ads that way. Capitalists rejoice!
These kinds of brusque (to put it lightly) people have always been with us, but 40+ years of that Reagan neoliberalism has so degraded civil society there's no cushion left. Everywhere you go is raw nerves.